Facebook Confessions (Katie)

I have a confession about facebook. Actually, I have several.

First and foremost, I stalk you on facebook. Yeah, I didn’t want you to find out this way, but its ok, we’ll both live. There could be several reasons I type your name into the search box and you probably don’t want to know which one applies to you, but you can pick from the following list: I really don’t like you, and seeing how miserable your statuses are makes me smile on the inside – and sometimes on the outside; one of my friends has just changed their relationship status and your name is after “in a relationship with”. It’s pretty cool how facebook gives me a link to go and check you out to make sure my friend isn’t dating a complete psycho. I guess there’s another possibility there: I just want to see what poor soul my friend has lured in this time; I remember you from high school and I want to see where you’ve taken your life; I just met you and your facebook will tell me everything I will ever need to know; OR you just made a REALLY stupid comment on someone’s page, picture, or status and I want to see if you look as stupid as you sound.

Next, you should know that I have different lists I put people on for the Facebook chat – and I’m only online for some of them. Yep. If I wanted to talk to all hundred and something of my friends in one place I’d throw a party. The thing is…I don’t. There are very few people that I want to talk to on facebook. If I really want to have a heartfelt conversation, I’d do it in person. The only nice thing about facebook is I can choose to not respond and there’s nothing you can do about it.

I hate your statuses. Not just playful hate. No, my friend, we are talking full on “I want to throw my computer across the room when I see that you have changed your status” kind of hate. I have even thought about deleting you from my friends list. When I have a good day, or several good days, I just don’t want to see you bitching and crying because you’re tired. I’m tired too but I just don’t think my facebook world is going to care, because, oh yeah, they don’t. Everyone and their mother is tired by the time Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday roll around. I know you’re looking forward to sleeping in because most people do when they’re tired. If you’re going to say something political or philosophical make sure you have no stupid friends that are going to make asses out of themselves by commenting because when I read their comments I stalk them (see the last reason in paragraph 2).

I don’t like you. That’s why I’ve denied your friend request 5 times. I don’t care that we used to talk when we where in 3rd grade. We are grown up now, wake up and realize we were never friends.

You all were thinking it; I just finally wrote it and put it on the internet for all to see.
-Katie